[ haha just two homies sitting in the theater having their matching traumas played out on a screen. wildin, right
what hits lu bixing first is the recognition of similarity. he's still reeling from his own - the revelation of the tank and the nuwa project, of the face of the dead-eyed-genetic-experiment that still sometimes haunts his nightmares, and the part of him that compartmentalizes and avoids and simply doesn't hurt because he can't feels the tense manner of harrow next to him and knows exactly what's happening, panic attack, and -
well, then her memory hits.
he remembers her explanation of thanergy, and - well, the worst part is that he knows part of this story, already. he knows the gas in the room and the girl who survived. he never made the connection, until right now, that this was why, because the story was safely kept secret in the hands of the other person involved, with the words it's not my story to tell. he knows it, now, and he knows it in that gut-twisting horrible way that knows that not only were you born out of an abomination, but you have to carry your entire world on your shoulders because if you fail, then what was the point of their sacrifice? what was the point?
he takes a breath when it finishes, and clutches at the ground underneath his hand, and staves off his own reaction beyond the wide eyed shock and his own shallow breath, then squeezes his eyes shut, forcefully, blocking out the image. one. two. three. forces himself to get it under control, forces himself not to freak the fuck out.
is harrow like having a visible panic attack still because that's going to change the rest of this tag, actually ]
no subject
what hits lu bixing first is the recognition of similarity. he's still reeling from his own - the revelation of the tank and the nuwa project, of the face of the dead-eyed-genetic-experiment that still sometimes haunts his nightmares, and the part of him that compartmentalizes and avoids and simply doesn't hurt because he can't feels the tense manner of harrow next to him and knows exactly what's happening, panic attack, and -
well, then her memory hits.
he remembers her explanation of thanergy, and - well, the worst part is that he knows part of this story, already. he knows the gas in the room and the girl who survived. he never made the connection, until right now, that this was why, because the story was safely kept secret in the hands of the other person involved, with the words it's not my story to tell. he knows it, now, and he knows it in that gut-twisting horrible way that knows that not only were you born out of an abomination, but you have to carry your entire world on your shoulders because if you fail, then what was the point of their sacrifice? what was the point?
he takes a breath when it finishes, and clutches at the ground underneath his hand, and staves off his own reaction beyond the wide eyed shock and his own shallow breath, then squeezes his eyes shut, forcefully, blocking out the image. one. two. three. forces himself to get it under control, forces himself not to freak the fuck out.
is harrow like having a visible panic attack still because that's going to change the rest of this tag, actually ]