[ There's a lot of heaviness in that memory - and he knows bits and pieces of it, maybe not the specifics of it, but the shape of it. Gideon's face is new. It's a cold, almost freezing comfort that at least there's that. The memory is intact instead of a strange skipping record like before.
Molly reaches over to squeeze her shoulder, quiet. ]
[ He'll just reach over to pull her in tighter at that. He isn't quite sure what to say here. Sorry seems trite, and shallow. Does it need a discussion? An explanation? He's not sure. She'd probably offer it, if he asked, but still. ]
Don't I? They slaughtered infants and children, Mollymauk. They committed a war crime, a genocide. An act of such monstrosity that when they saw that the fruits of their labours had committed an apocalyptic heresy, they were not surprised. They were resigned; it was some form of justice, that I was the thing they paid for but I was also a monster.
[she takes a deep, tired breath.]
But I do think that perhaps that was when they saw me as their daughter for the first time. They couldn't bring themselves to care for me when I was perfect, but they loved me when I needed to be destroyed.
[ He'll let her go a bit, if only so she can talk more easily. ]
You don't have to hate them. [ He repeats it, gently. ] I'm not going to claim to know their minds, or their actions. I can't explain any of it, or make sense of it for you, I don't think. But if that's not what you feel, then that's alright.
But I think it says more about you - or it should - than them. You don't have to brew up something hateful and angry just because you feel like you should. There's other things you can do. Are doing.
Also I got a memory from Rupert where Caleb was in a "rap battle" where a much less-washed version of Dimitri somehow cut his throat open with the power of verse? And also one where he ate Aikawa's head as a dinosaur.
[ Huffing. But, he clearly looks taken aback by the thought, reaching to start toying with the ends of his sleeves, pulling at loose threads with a claw. ]
I don't know. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
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outsidebones) wrote2022-06-04 04:59 pm
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Molly reaches over to squeeze her shoulder, quiet. ]
It's not a great one.
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As memories go, that one is a little...they've done terrible, unforgivable things, but I cannot hate them for it.
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[ He'll just reach over to pull her in tighter at that. He isn't quite sure what to say here. Sorry seems trite, and shallow. Does it need a discussion? An explanation? He's not sure. She'd probably offer it, if he asked, but still. ]
You don't have to hate them.
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[she takes a deep, tired breath.]
But I do think that perhaps that was when they saw me as their daughter for the first time. They couldn't bring themselves to care for me when I was perfect, but they loved me when I needed to be destroyed.
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You don't have to hate them. [ He repeats it, gently. ] I'm not going to claim to know their minds, or their actions. I can't explain any of it, or make sense of it for you, I don't think. But if that's not what you feel, then that's alright.
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...They treated Gideon terribly. They were awful. And to Ortus, too.
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But I think it says more about you - or it should - than them. You don't have to brew up something hateful and angry just because you feel like you should. There's other things you can do. Are doing.
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I'm being quite...needlessly dramatic about this.
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I think you're afforded some dramatics here.
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[she just says that when she wants to distance herself from the emotion, it's fine. gimme a memshare too.]
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Molly just. Blinks in confusion.]
This one again ...
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[hmm. she's frowning.]
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Don't know what it means or anything. Not that it matters - it's the other guy's. So.
[ harrow voice: i am being dramatic ]
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Don't even know the context of it. It's just a weird fuckin' memory. I was sleeping outside and Beau and Caleb have emotional problems, what's new.
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Right. But we're ignoring that part because it's fucked information that I will not benefit from knowing, Harrow.
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[ ... ]
What is there even to talk about?
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[ ... ]
Also I got a memory from Rupert where Caleb was in a "rap battle" where a much less-washed version of Dimitri somehow cut his throat open with the power of verse? And also one where he ate Aikawa's head as a dinosaur.
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[hmm.]
Would it bother you so much, to learn you died?
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[ Huffing. But, he clearly looks taken aback by the thought, reaching to start toying with the ends of his sleeves, pulling at loose threads with a claw. ]
I don't know. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
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