[god. love yourself, akira. but okay. she's honestly a bit relieved by this because fuck ryo.]
Whether or not you matter to him is irrelevant. Don't stay in hell because a boy hurt your feelings.
[this is so rude but anyway, she nods.]
Gideon told me you were planning to stay, and I didn't know if I ought to try to use that, but I think not. One thought I had was to ask to change the terms of the competition - to stay and become lords of hell, even overthrow Satan. And we fail, and he "banishes" us.
He's my friend. If I stay, it's because there are no other options.
[He is fucking baffled by how many people here are Ryo antis. Not that he doesn't understand, it's just so strange to hear. Someone PLEASE love Ryo. Please show him LOVE.
His head lifts, face surprised. Unsure why he would be surprised knowing how Harrowhark has always been to him.]
What about the others? Chandra, and Tuuri, and them? What about... the demons?
[well. for her she was mostly fine with him until he pointed a gun at Gideon and then ignored her warning to stay away from Gideon.
She even understands why it happened and that it was a good deal gideons fault but he didn’t listen to her when she warned him and she has a bias, so it’s on sight now.
But also everything Akira has said about home just makes it sound like none of this is exactly good for him.]
I think maybe… we might be able to get away with pretending we don’t want them to have a chance. That it could be a punishment for us for failing somehow, that the dead and personal demons are allowed to compete.
I'm not really great with much of that stuff... It was always Ryo who had the ideas. [The bad ideas haha.] But it has to be entertainment, right? And... account for the others besides us.
...I guess all his questioning when I was talking to him makes sense now.
I already talked to Ryo, because he's much smarter than you are. But he was also candid about being less interested in trying to save the dead.
[which is fair. or so she thought before she was super mad at him.]
On the other hand, creativity and intellect are not one and the same. I also talked to Itto, because he is the only one about as stupid as the demons we have to fool, and he had some interesting thoughts. It must be entertainment. Some way to convince the denizens of hell, who want blood, to enjoy an ending where he lets all of us go, including the personal demons.
[Hilariously, he doesn’t seem surprised to hear this about Ryo, and the only change to his face is an understanding sadness.]
But… if we’re banished, we’ll all never see each other again. If we go wherever that’s fine. But that’ll be the last time… And if you didn’t go back, how would you return to save the Ninth?
[He had an argument about this with someone, but he wants to hear Harrow’s side of it first.]
…No. I need to win, and go where I choose. Or return, obtaining power to deal with my enemies. I can’t abandon the Ninth, but I recognize I can’t return there as things stand without a plan, and I need time to develop that. But that doesn’t mean I intend to abandon the others to their fates.
[It's okay Gideon doesn't understand, too, he thinks. He also gets Gideon's intentions.]
If that's something you really want, I want you to be able to do that whatever way you can, too. I don't... [He hesitates, thoughtful. He doesn't want to make this about her problems when they're trying to figure out a plan, but.] I agree that... you shouldn't feel obligated to a fate other people handed to you.
But I get wanting to do what you can to make things right. To... change things, to make them better. Other people here might be the same way. So... should we figure out a way to make that part of the deal?
[this topic makes her visibly uncomfortable, but he approaches it gently enough that she'll let it happen.]
I suppose. I don't want to ask for more than I can justify being given. [...] I've always known I have to solve the Ninth House's problems myself. If I approach someone else, asking for assistance, that assistance will come with strings attached.
I don't want to owe that to Satan any more than I wanted to owe it to the Lord and Lady of the Fifth House.
No, I get that. I don't mean... asking for help necessarily. Just... asking for a way to go back and forth. So you can do what you need to do, then go back when you're ready.
[He's quiet for a long moment. Then, honestly:]
I don't think I fit in Lu Bixing's world any more than I'd fit in yours. But... I'd like to see you and Gideon again if I can. I'd hate... for it to be the last time even if I know there might not be a way in the end.
[she doesn't know much about it and what she knows she doesn't like. it's a little sad.]
She wants to go there and I want to give her the chance, even if she's hoping I'll change my mind about returning to the Ninth someday and that isn't possible. [it's hard. she couldn't say no to the request because she didn't have any other alternative.] Part of me hopes that whenever I do return, she won't want to follow me anymore. The Ninth was never any good to her.
[He looks so surprised to hear the sentiment returned, but then he smiles faintly.]
I guess that's something you can worry about later, after you've got what you need for it. Let's get everyone out of here. If we can find a way to slide in something like that... let's try.
Sorry... I'm not really giving you any ideas, huh? If the right people win for us, I don't mind it. In that case, we'd need at least one underdog. Someone who could make it interesting. But also people who would... have our best interest.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He said he was doing back. [He sighs and hangs his head.] I asked him to stay with me weeks ago, but he wouldn’t. He wanted to go back to kill God.
And if there’s a me he’s going back to save, to be with, why do I matter?
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Whether or not you matter to him is irrelevant. Don't stay in hell because a boy hurt your feelings.
[this is so rude but anyway, she nods.]
Gideon told me you were planning to stay, and I didn't know if I ought to try to use that, but I think not. One thought I had was to ask to change the terms of the competition - to stay and become lords of hell, even overthrow Satan. And we fail, and he "banishes" us.
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[He is fucking baffled by how many people here are Ryo antis. Not that he doesn't understand, it's just so strange to hear. Someone PLEASE love Ryo. Please show him LOVE.
His head lifts, face surprised. Unsure why he would be surprised knowing how Harrowhark has always been to him.]
What about the others? Chandra, and Tuuri, and them? What about... the demons?
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She even understands why it happened and that it was a good deal gideons fault but he didn’t listen to her when she warned him and she has a bias, so it’s on sight now.
But also everything Akira has said about home just makes it sound like none of this is exactly good for him.]
I think maybe… we might be able to get away with pretending we don’t want them to have a chance. That it could be a punishment for us for failing somehow, that the dead and personal demons are allowed to compete.
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It's not a bad idea. If... it's something we can do, I'll do it. I'll help however I can.
[If there is one thing he has aside from too many emotions it's stubborn resolution.]
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I'm not really great with much of that stuff... It was always Ryo who had the ideas. [The bad ideas haha.] But it has to be entertainment, right? And... account for the others besides us.
...I guess all his questioning when I was talking to him makes sense now.
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[which is fair. or so she thought before she was super mad at him.]
On the other hand, creativity and intellect are not one and the same. I also talked to Itto, because he is the only one about as stupid as the demons we have to fool, and he had some interesting thoughts. It must be entertainment. Some way to convince the denizens of hell, who want blood, to enjoy an ending where he lets all of us go, including the personal demons.
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But… if we’re banished, we’ll all never see each other again. If we go wherever that’s fine. But that’ll be the last time… And if you didn’t go back, how would you return to save the Ninth?
[He had an argument about this with someone, but he wants to hear Harrow’s side of it first.]
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…No. I need to win, and go where I choose. Or return, obtaining power to deal with my enemies. I can’t abandon the Ninth, but I recognize I can’t return there as things stand without a plan, and I need time to develop that. But that doesn’t mean I intend to abandon the others to their fates.
Gideon won’t understand that, but - it’s fine.
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[It's okay Gideon doesn't understand, too, he thinks. He also gets Gideon's intentions.]
If that's something you really want, I want you to be able to do that whatever way you can, too. I don't... [He hesitates, thoughtful. He doesn't want to make this about her problems when they're trying to figure out a plan, but.] I agree that... you shouldn't feel obligated to a fate other people handed to you.
But I get wanting to do what you can to make things right. To... change things, to make them better. Other people here might be the same way. So... should we figure out a way to make that part of the deal?
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I suppose. I don't want to ask for more than I can justify being given. [...] I've always known I have to solve the Ninth House's problems myself. If I approach someone else, asking for assistance, that assistance will come with strings attached.
I don't want to owe that to Satan any more than I wanted to owe it to the Lord and Lady of the Fifth House.
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[He's quiet for a long moment. Then, honestly:]
I don't think I fit in Lu Bixing's world any more than I'd fit in yours. But... I'd like to see you and Gideon again if I can. I'd hate... for it to be the last time even if I know there might not be a way in the end.
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[she doesn't know much about it and what she knows she doesn't like. it's a little sad.]
She wants to go there and I want to give her the chance, even if she's hoping I'll change my mind about returning to the Ninth someday and that isn't possible. [it's hard. she couldn't say no to the request because she didn't have any other alternative.] Part of me hopes that whenever I do return, she won't want to follow me anymore. The Ninth was never any good to her.
...I'd hate for it to be the last time, too.
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I guess that's something you can worry about later, after you've got what you need for it. Let's get everyone out of here. If we can find a way to slide in something like that... let's try.
Sorry... I'm not really giving you any ideas, huh? If the right people win for us, I don't mind it. In that case, we'd need at least one underdog. Someone who could make it interesting. But also people who would... have our best interest.
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[so she wants to just brainstorm and hear what people think.]
True. I do not want Mephisto to win.
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I don't disagree with you. Who do you think should compete...?