[God and the Emperor are the same person sorry if that was unclear I copy pasted from the books without doing a whole lot of rewriting.]
...Well, no, of course not. [she chews her lip, though, obviously a bit troubled and defensive about this question, because yes, he absolutely is just looking the other way the whole time.] He simply can't control the Saint of Duty, necessarily.
[ he doesn't know her well enough to argue, but he's been in the situation of blaming himself for being treated like garbage and lashing out, and. ]
... Are you sure? You don't seem that frail to me. And I don't believe you can do anything to deserve having to go without sleep for days because some ... saint, or whatever is trying to murder you.
I've.... kind of been in... a situation like that, so....
My family's pretty messed up. I'm pretty sure a memory showing that is going to pop out of stardust or whatever, soon, so....
[ he's right but i'm waiting for the right dramatique timing ]
... All my dad cares about is power. My little sister's the same. We were basically.... pitted against each other ever since we both learned firebending. [ a beat. ] It's... like your thing with bones, but fire. [ thanks zuko ]
My sister's a born prodigy, and a lot like him. I could never measure up, and..... well, I spent years chasing after my father's love. [ he points at his scar. ] He's the one who did this, when I was a kid. [ he's 16 ] He also banished me for talking out of turn. For three years, I was obsessed with pleasing him, thinking it was my honor that I wanted. I was angry, and I lashed out at everyone, including the one person who did love me. But the real person I was angry at was myself. Deep down, I felt like it was my fault, for not being good enough, strong enough. That if only I could prove I was the son he wanted to be, he'd finally accept me.
But that wasn't the reality. The reality was that he's just a cruel and horrible person, that he never cared in the first place, and I didn't deserve to be treated that way.
[oh. she listens, sympathetic, her face complicated but a bit softer than it usually was.]
I'm sorry. [she means it genuinely.] I never had a sibling, but I think... [she swallows slightly.] I understand a little what you mean. [she chews on her lip.]
My parents were awful people, too, really. I was a prodigy, the daughter they had always wanted, so they treated me well. They were abhorrent to Gideon. She was an orphan, but the only other child in the House my age growing up. She always thought it had to do with her, but she was just a persistent reminder of their own regrets and shortcomings, and they took it out on her brutally. And I became a monster just as they were, treating her and everyone else cruelly and as though they were beneath me, knowing all along how conditional my parents' affection for me was; that I would have had no use to them if I was not the perfect heir.
[so the truth is harrow is azula coded as much as she is mei coded.]
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I don't know who this emperor is, but.... I figure, if you were going to hurt someone, you wouldn't beat around the bush.
...
So that other guy, the god.... he's just looking the other way the whole time this is happening?
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...Well, no, of course not. [she chews her lip, though, obviously a bit troubled and defensive about this question, because yes, he absolutely is just looking the other way the whole time.] He simply can't control the Saint of Duty, necessarily.
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[ it's okay, zuko gets it. it took him a long time to accept his dad was shitty. maybe it's like this. ]
... You still shouldn't be treated that way.
[ he wants to make sure she knows that. ]
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It's complicated. I wish he would intervene, but it is ultimately my own frailties that caused this situation.
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... Are you sure? You don't seem that frail to me. And I don't believe you can do anything to deserve having to go without sleep for days because some ... saint, or whatever is trying to murder you.
I've.... kind of been in... a situation like that, so....
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You have, have you? [in a way they all have, but she suspects that isn't what he means.] Tell me.
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[ he's right but i'm waiting for the right dramatique timing ]
... All my dad cares about is power. My little sister's the same. We were basically.... pitted against each other ever since we both learned firebending. [ a beat. ] It's... like your thing with bones, but fire. [ thanks zuko ]
My sister's a born prodigy, and a lot like him. I could never measure up, and..... well, I spent years chasing after my father's love. [ he points at his scar. ] He's the one who did this, when I was a kid. [ he's 16 ] He also banished me for talking out of turn. For three years, I was obsessed with pleasing him, thinking it was my honor that I wanted. I was angry, and I lashed out at everyone, including the one person who did love me. But the real person I was angry at was myself. Deep down, I felt like it was my fault, for not being good enough, strong enough. That if only I could prove I was the son he wanted to be, he'd finally accept me.
But that wasn't the reality. The reality was that he's just a cruel and horrible person, that he never cared in the first place, and I didn't deserve to be treated that way.
no subject
I'm sorry. [she means it genuinely.] I never had a sibling, but I think... [she swallows slightly.] I understand a little what you mean. [she chews on her lip.]
My parents were awful people, too, really. I was a prodigy, the daughter they had always wanted, so they treated me well. They were abhorrent to Gideon. She was an orphan, but the only other child in the House my age growing up. She always thought it had to do with her, but she was just a persistent reminder of their own regrets and shortcomings, and they took it out on her brutally. And I became a monster just as they were, treating her and everyone else cruelly and as though they were beneath me, knowing all along how conditional my parents' affection for me was; that I would have had no use to them if I was not the perfect heir.
[so the truth is harrow is azula coded as much as she is mei coded.]