None of this was an answer to my question, you realize.
[she examines her nails.]
Your actions were perceived in a way that may get you killed. It will be your problem because you will be being killed. Are you happy with that? Or would you like to fix it. [a pause.] You see, I do feel I bear some responsibility in this matter.
I mean, yeah. I pulled a gun on your buddy because you tried to encourage people to manhandle me. Maybe let's fight our own battles next time.
[He shrugs.]
I don't care if people are stupid enough to try killing me. One, I've already died back home. Two, I've already died in my last game. And three, speaking of my last game, we were all already dead. And we were supposed to let the killers win, so we could all go home.
Sure, this place could be different. Probably is. Has a different premise. Has a hostage! But it could be similar. I don't know until I find out more. Guess when we found out more last time? When we were dead. Don't want to be dead, but I'll try making the most of it.
I can't fight my own battles, obviously. As you pointed out, I wouldn't have a chance at besting you physically. At the least, not without access to necromancy, which I do not have.
Which is why I tend to be stubborn when someone challenges me in public, because I do not want to die here. I don't know why you feel the need to be so stubborn when you're walking around hulking with a gun. Defensiveness strikes as a bit much.
I know you scrambled your brain, but you don't have to use physical strength to best me. I believe in you.
[This actually does not sound sarcastic.]
I just don't like being told what to do, but I really don't like people thinking they can force me to do it. The gun came out because I knew it would get you all to leave me alone. It was cleaner, too, than me accidentally hitting someone else who might get in the way when I started throwing fists. You saw how fast Lup tried to run in.
If I would fought Molly, I would've hurt him probably, then you guys really would lose your shit. So I used the gun.
[she sounds sincere too so good for a girl who is confident in herself.]
None of this is a surprise to me. [...] Perhaps that you were intending to avoid hurting Mollymauk is a surprise to me. But it is not a surprise to me that you don't like being told what to do.
It didn't need to escalate the way it did, on either of our ends. Do you concur.
I won't bother you about it myself anymore. There were no other holdouts, so I don't think we'll have difficulty. However, I think you will be making a mistake if you continue to refuse.
I do not care for this exercise - particularly how it was done on the space station, where even the modesty of a privacy screen was discouraged by some. I, too, demurred at first. I value my dignity. However, our first three trials resulted in false convictions. The missing evidence included things that were missed by not giving thorough enough checks.
That is the last I will say on it to you, however. My rigid approach to such things is plainly ineffective with you and I recognize my limitations.
It doesn't sound like the not stripping was your problem then, was it?
[He just holds his spoon in place without stirring or eating. Looking across at her.]
Maybe next time, don't call the cavalry in before you try a bit of negotiation. It's not that I don't think it shouldn't be done. It's that it's dangerous to let a few of you start getting the idea it's okay to lead the rest of us around in what to do. Especially if you think you can use force when someone doesn't comply.
One of these weeks, you might be the one with dirty hands. But which one of these rolled over pups are going to question you when you've put yourself in charge? And you've got friends watching your back? I'm just cautious. It's easy to root me out; no one knows me, so no one has a reason to take up for me. It's the people here who know each other who can slip by.
Not being thorough, bending the rules at times, wasting time arguing. That was the problem.
[she meets his eye contact right back.]
Agree. I do not believe I or anyone ought to be in charge or above questioning. I do not desire pups who will roll over for me. The projection of authority is a tool I possess and I will use it where I see fit, and discard it where it is of no evident use. Likewise, I agree those of us in large contingents are more dangerous. Which is why I do not believe exceptions should be made for anyone.
You do have people watching your back, however. Believe me when I say you have defenders, who have made themselves known over the past day. [...] I think you are reckless, and possibly a bit stupid, and you have chosen to adopt a survival strategy that is bad. I do not think you are inherently a threat any more than all of us are a threat to one another. I do not even dislike you.
There is no reason you need to be without allies, unless you continue to make choices aimed at destroying any such alliances. I am not speaking of blind trust, obedience, loyalty, even necessarily friendship. But I do recognize your particular obstinance in insisting on your utter independence, it is very familiar to me, and I suggest you consider how much it is actually helping you.
[The idea that people are taking up for him makes him laugh dryly.] Then they're a little stupid, [is all he squeezes in there until she's finished.]
There are only a few people I trust, and none of them are here. I'm not really interested in working with anyone until I know more about how this place operates under the surface. I'm not talking about trials. I mean in general.
People are going to have to prove to me I can trust them. Just like they're going to have to see whether they can trust me, too.
No one else finds me funny, so I just have to find myself funny sometimes.
Can't help you with the first one yet until this place gives us some better movies besides the one we were forced to watch today. Not sure if I can help you with the second one either other than telling you he can be kind of a dick when he's working for someone dressed like a bat.
For what it's worth, I think you can be a lot more reasonable than he can, at least. I do appreciate the guts to actually come talk to me despite the fact you probably wouldn't mind punching me instead.
[He puts down the spoon and sits back.]
You're from the space hell camp, right? With Lup. You know Royce, too, then.
[She isn't wrong. He looks at her for a long moment without any particular expression, but his eyes sort of jump back and forth to study her face. He is quiet for so long, debating.
[i mean listen she cared about him but also he was mostly down to feed them all to a furby so her concern has qualifications...
but she still makes a bit of an unhappy face and nods.]
I'm certain the Royce I knew was somewhat different than the one you knew. He was...I do not think the role of staff or Avatar was one that came easy to him. He preferred to keep his distance from all of us.
After a few of us met a shadow of his daughter, he was a little more forthcoming. I would not want to see him come to harm, not when the man I met had earned a chance to be reunited with his family.
Yes, dustpan...got some, as you say. He had a wife and a young daughter, Mercy. He was very devoted to both of them. The wife had died, but he managed to fix that by the end, I think.
[Surprisingly, he looks visibly shocked at the last part. Like he's been struck by something icy.] She... died? [His expression is very no, no, no, no, but in his eyes it's very easy to see the same kind of feral anger from the trial start to bubble up.
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[she examines her nails.]
Your actions were perceived in a way that may get you killed. It will be your problem because you will be being killed. Are you happy with that? Or would you like to fix it. [a pause.] You see, I do feel I bear some responsibility in this matter.
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[He shrugs.]
I don't care if people are stupid enough to try killing me. One, I've already died back home. Two, I've already died in my last game. And three, speaking of my last game, we were all already dead. And we were supposed to let the killers win, so we could all go home.
Sure, this place could be different. Probably is. Has a different premise. Has a hostage! But it could be similar. I don't know until I find out more. Guess when we found out more last time? When we were dead. Don't want to be dead, but I'll try making the most of it.
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I can't fight my own battles, obviously. As you pointed out, I wouldn't have a chance at besting you physically. At the least, not without access to necromancy, which I do not have.
Which is why I tend to be stubborn when someone challenges me in public, because I do not want to die here. I don't know why you feel the need to be so stubborn when you're walking around hulking with a gun. Defensiveness strikes as a bit much.
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[This actually does not sound sarcastic.]
I just don't like being told what to do, but I really don't like people thinking they can force me to do it. The gun came out because I knew it would get you all to leave me alone. It was cleaner, too, than me accidentally hitting someone else who might get in the way when I started throwing fists. You saw how fast Lup tried to run in.
If I would fought Molly, I would've hurt him probably, then you guys really would lose your shit. So I used the gun.
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[she sounds sincere too so good for a girl who is confident in herself.]
None of this is a surprise to me. [...] Perhaps that you were intending to avoid hurting Mollymauk is a surprise to me. But it is not a surprise to me that you don't like being told what to do.
It didn't need to escalate the way it did, on either of our ends. Do you concur.
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Yeah, sure. I agree.
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[hmm.]
I won't bother you about it myself anymore. There were no other holdouts, so I don't think we'll have difficulty. However, I think you will be making a mistake if you continue to refuse.
I do not care for this exercise - particularly how it was done on the space station, where even the modesty of a privacy screen was discouraged by some. I, too, demurred at first. I value my dignity. However, our first three trials resulted in false convictions. The missing evidence included things that were missed by not giving thorough enough checks.
That is the last I will say on it to you, however. My rigid approach to such things is plainly ineffective with you and I recognize my limitations.
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[He just holds his spoon in place without stirring or eating. Looking across at her.]
Maybe next time, don't call the cavalry in before you try a bit of negotiation. It's not that I don't think it shouldn't be done. It's that it's dangerous to let a few of you start getting the idea it's okay to lead the rest of us around in what to do. Especially if you think you can use force when someone doesn't comply.
One of these weeks, you might be the one with dirty hands. But which one of these rolled over pups are going to question you when you've put yourself in charge? And you've got friends watching your back? I'm just cautious. It's easy to root me out; no one knows me, so no one has a reason to take up for me. It's the people here who know each other who can slip by.
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[she meets his eye contact right back.]
Agree. I do not believe I or anyone ought to be in charge or above questioning. I do not desire pups who will roll over for me. The projection of authority is a tool I possess and I will use it where I see fit, and discard it where it is of no evident use. Likewise, I agree those of us in large contingents are more dangerous. Which is why I do not believe exceptions should be made for anyone.
You do have people watching your back, however. Believe me when I say you have defenders, who have made themselves known over the past day. [...] I think you are reckless, and possibly a bit stupid, and you have chosen to adopt a survival strategy that is bad. I do not think you are inherently a threat any more than all of us are a threat to one another. I do not even dislike you.
There is no reason you need to be without allies, unless you continue to make choices aimed at destroying any such alliances. I am not speaking of blind trust, obedience, loyalty, even necessarily friendship. But I do recognize your particular obstinance in insisting on your utter independence, it is very familiar to me, and I suggest you consider how much it is actually helping you.
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There are only a few people I trust, and none of them are here. I'm not really interested in working with anyone until I know more about how this place operates under the surface. I'm not talking about trials. I mean in general.
People are going to have to prove to me I can trust them. Just like they're going to have to see whether they can trust me, too.
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[she doesn't disagree that they're probably a little stupid.]
Very well. You remain stubborn, and I am unsurprised, but that is nonetheless acceptable.
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Thanks for your very Batman-like approach to reconciliation. It almost made me homesick for a second.
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Can't help you with the first one yet until this place gives us some better movies besides the one we were forced to watch today. Not sure if I can help you with the second one either other than telling you he can be kind of a dick when he's working for someone dressed like a bat.
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[a sigh.]
I suppose I cannot protest the comparison, either to the being a dick or to the dressing up like a bat.
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[He puts down the spoon and sits back.]
You're from the space hell camp, right? With Lup. You know Royce, too, then.
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[but the question does surprise her a little.]
...Yes, I know Royce.
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So do I. We were on the island together.
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[well she can he wouldn't have brought it up to be like 'oh you know this guy? i hate him']
Personally, I was fond of him.
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Then he glances away.]
That's who they took for me.
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[i mean listen she cared about him but also he was mostly down to feed them all to a furby so her concern has qualifications...
but she still makes a bit of an unhappy face and nods.]
I'm certain the Royce I knew was somewhat different than the one you knew. He was...I do not think the role of staff or Avatar was one that came easy to him. He preferred to keep his distance from all of us.
After a few of us met a shadow of his daughter, he was a little more forthcoming. I would not want to see him come to harm, not when the man I met had earned a chance to be reunited with his family.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Back up, back up— Daughter? Seriously? Ol’ Dustpan got some?!
[His Royce is definitely not her Royce, very funny.]
Holy shit!
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Yes, dustpan...got some, as you say. He had a wife and a young daughter, Mercy. He was very devoted to both of them. The wife had died, but he managed to fix that by the end, I think.
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He hears the addendum, but still.]
What the fuck? Gwen?
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[...]
Oh dear, I have brought up a troubling subject.
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