[they're just in the void she's sort of around. sulking with that messy sort of feeling where you actually cared about someone a lot but you aren't sure you deserve to care as much as others did so you're trying not to.]
[ remembering their last conversation - the difficulty of emotional outbursts, especially, it seems about right. but... after a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek, he says; ]
...Well, will you sit with me, for a little while? I think I could use the company. Whether we think or not.
[oh help did he drink persuasion juice she respects that so much.]
I don't intend to participate in this farce so much as to compromise my dignity for it. I won't be killing anyone here, unless an octopus somehow forces me into it. [GROSS.] But I stand by my accusations. He was suspicious and it was worthwhile to force him to cooperate.
[ he sure did yeah - he digs out the bottle from his satchel to let her see, that when he pops the lid off, it smells slightly of orange. siren song! he'd wink but he can't, so she gets a slightly knowing smile before he screws the top back on and he puts it in his bag. ]
I agree. I initially thought he might've been covering for himself, or maybe even for Akira. To fall into the tank and take blurry pictures like that felt almost comically overdone. And I knew he wouldn't cooperate, so I planned a little in advance, since we always have so many people who refuse - it worked about as well as I thought it would.
[ ... but. ] ... Whether he was covering for Lavi or not, I don't know. But any sort of suspicion should be chased to its end.
[ a beat. ] I don't have any plans of killing anyone, either. It's pointless. I'd rather take my chance back at life with my own hands instead of trying to eliminate the competition. You know what I mean?
From the girl who destroyed my boat? That's an honor.
[ game recognizing game, etc. that's a little teasing, but he seems genuinely glad to hear it, so. ] I don't know if it'll work twice. I seriously doubt it'll work on Ryo, again - I'm sure he's less than thrilled with me, but, that's alright.
From the beginning to the end, it's a cruel game. [ ... ] Lavi's whole situation today was exemplary of that much.
If needed, Gideon can force the issue. But I would prefer not to put her in that position with someone actively dangerous, and I suspect Ryo is one such person.
[so persuasion juice is better.]
It doesn't sit right with me. I understand why so many chose to honour his wishes, and yet - it feels as though this situation was set up purely because he is someone many care for, and they felt it would be entertaining to put his blood on his hands.
I won't cooperate with a game that runs in that manner.
[ he nods... yeah, he can picture ryo and gideon interacting and it going very far down the toilet in a matter of seconds, actually, so. yeah. ]
...Mmm. Yeah. I don't think the cudgel's the type to work with him. The carrot barely did. [ and it was a magically assisted carrot, too!!! ] We'll have to see in the weeks to come.
[ he's quiet for a moment as harrow finishes, though, looking down at his hands, rolling the little paper between his fingertips. ]
It's a shame that we couldn't just vote for the octopus. [ this is a little bit of a joke. ] In a way, that opens up a question - if something happens to a killer and they die in the process, or even during the trial [ because people are nuts ] then would we be unable to vote for them, too? I hate finding out the rules of this entire event while it's in process.
...Well. It's what you said before, that it was set up to be cruel, because so many people care for him, and that he cares so much, but I think you're making a good point here, too, that people chose to honor his wishes.
[ finally, he shifts where he's sitting, pushing back to lean on his palms and looking up at the sky overhead, shitty as it is. there's something wistful in his delivery, something - finally, for the first time, especially sad, even if there's that same objective edge to it as before. ]
Even if it would have been better to overcome the entire thing, to keep him from being voted for, it wouldn't change the fact that it happened. That he remembered, and would have to live with it - even if we recognize the system as unfair, it doesn't change the fact that the action was still done. In the end, it's about him, too. For Lavi, would it have been better if we found a way to ensure he wasn't voted for or killed, or worse? Even if we think it would be better, to not have to lose him, would he have suffered even more living with the guilt?
I don't know the answer to those questions, but...if this place took his choices from him in the first place, with, of all things, an octopus, then I don't want to take his choice of how to deal with it away, either.
...He's a really, really good kid, Lavi. A really good kid.
[she doesn't think of lavi as a kid, even if she doesn't struggle to think of other teenagers older than her that way.]
I do not know what's better or worse. I only - dislike seeing everyone so hopeless.
[at least people she cares about. and there is a part of her that always feels responsible, as though she should prevent anything bad from happening and it's her fault if she didn't.]
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outsidebones) wrote2023-02-05 05:03 pm
no subject
Hello.
[they're just in the void she's sort of around. sulking with that messy sort of feeling where you actually cared about someone a lot but you aren't sure you deserve to care as much as others did so you're trying not to.]
What are you doing?
no subject
[ he tilts his hand a little - it's a Weed between his fingers. ] But I can't say it's working. What about you?
no subject
[she doesn't have a good answer to that.]
I think it may be for the best to give others space to grieve.
no subject
[ remembering their last conversation - the difficulty of emotional outbursts, especially, it seems about right. but... after a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek, he says; ]
...Well, will you sit with me, for a little while? I think I could use the company. Whether we think or not.
no subject
[she's going to be rude even now, but she does appreciate it.]
I doubt I am the sort of company you will find much comfort from.
no subject
[ all of his bitchy cats. but, he pats the spot next to him. come sit. ]
... Thank you for cooperating with Ryo, earlier. I cheated a little to get him to listen, and I'm sorry I had to throw you under the bus.
no subject
I don't intend to participate in this farce so much as to compromise my dignity for it. I won't be killing anyone here, unless an octopus somehow forces me into it. [GROSS.] But I stand by my accusations. He was suspicious and it was worthwhile to force him to cooperate.
no subject
I agree. I initially thought he might've been covering for himself, or maybe even for Akira. To fall into the tank and take blurry pictures like that felt almost comically overdone. And I knew he wouldn't cooperate, so I planned a little in advance, since we always have so many people who refuse - it worked about as well as I thought it would.
[ ... but. ] ... Whether he was covering for Lavi or not, I don't know. But any sort of suspicion should be chased to its end.
[ a beat. ] I don't have any plans of killing anyone, either. It's pointless. I'd rather take my chance back at life with my own hands instead of trying to eliminate the competition. You know what I mean?
no subject
[she wouldn't even be mad if he did it to her, too, if he had a good reason.]
Yes, I know what you mean. I don't want anything to do with this form of competition.
no subject
[ game recognizing game, etc. that's a little teasing, but he seems genuinely glad to hear it, so. ] I don't know if it'll work twice. I seriously doubt it'll work on Ryo, again - I'm sure he's less than thrilled with me, but, that's alright.
From the beginning to the end, it's a cruel game. [ ... ] Lavi's whole situation today was exemplary of that much.
no subject
[so persuasion juice is better.]
It doesn't sit right with me. I understand why so many chose to honour his wishes, and yet - it feels as though this situation was set up purely because he is someone many care for, and they felt it would be entertaining to put his blood on his hands.
I won't cooperate with a game that runs in that manner.
no subject
...Mmm. Yeah. I don't think the cudgel's the type to work with him. The carrot barely did. [ and it was a magically assisted carrot, too!!! ] We'll have to see in the weeks to come.
[ he's quiet for a moment as harrow finishes, though, looking down at his hands, rolling the little paper between his fingertips. ]
It's a shame that we couldn't just vote for the octopus. [ this is a little bit of a joke. ] In a way, that opens up a question - if something happens to a killer and they die in the process, or even during the trial [ because people are nuts ] then would we be unable to vote for them, too? I hate finding out the rules of this entire event while it's in process.
no subject
no subject
I think that's the precise question. [ all of the rules are made up and nothing matters! ] What a mess.
no subject
[she sighs deeply, angry and dwelling on it to avoid feeling as sad as she is.]
I still can't figure out what I ought to have done to stop it.
no subject
Which part?
[ the vote? the killing in the first place? the larger fact that they're stuck doing these trials? ]
no subject
[she feels as though she should have done something about it.]
no subject
...Well. It's what you said before, that it was set up to be cruel, because so many people care for him, and that he cares so much, but I think you're making a good point here, too, that people chose to honor his wishes.
[ finally, he shifts where he's sitting, pushing back to lean on his palms and looking up at the sky overhead, shitty as it is. there's something wistful in his delivery, something - finally, for the first time, especially sad, even if there's that same objective edge to it as before. ]
Even if it would have been better to overcome the entire thing, to keep him from being voted for, it wouldn't change the fact that it happened. That he remembered, and would have to live with it - even if we recognize the system as unfair, it doesn't change the fact that the action was still done. In the end, it's about him, too. For Lavi, would it have been better if we found a way to ensure he wasn't voted for or killed, or worse? Even if we think it would be better, to not have to lose him, would he have suffered even more living with the guilt?
I don't know the answer to those questions, but...if this place took his choices from him in the first place, with, of all things, an octopus, then I don't want to take his choice of how to deal with it away, either.
...He's a really, really good kid, Lavi. A really good kid.
no subject
I do not know what's better or worse. I only - dislike seeing everyone so hopeless.
[at least people she cares about. and there is a part of her that always feels responsible, as though she should prevent anything bad from happening and it's her fault if she didn't.]
He made an impression upon many people.