...Well. It's what you said before, that it was set up to be cruel, because so many people care for him, and that he cares so much, but I think you're making a good point here, too, that people chose to honor his wishes.
[ finally, he shifts where he's sitting, pushing back to lean on his palms and looking up at the sky overhead, shitty as it is. there's something wistful in his delivery, something - finally, for the first time, especially sad, even if there's that same objective edge to it as before. ]
Even if it would have been better to overcome the entire thing, to keep him from being voted for, it wouldn't change the fact that it happened. That he remembered, and would have to live with it - even if we recognize the system as unfair, it doesn't change the fact that the action was still done. In the end, it's about him, too. For Lavi, would it have been better if we found a way to ensure he wasn't voted for or killed, or worse? Even if we think it would be better, to not have to lose him, would he have suffered even more living with the guilt?
I don't know the answer to those questions, but...if this place took his choices from him in the first place, with, of all things, an octopus, then I don't want to take his choice of how to deal with it away, either.
...He's a really, really good kid, Lavi. A really good kid.
[she doesn't think of lavi as a kid, even if she doesn't struggle to think of other teenagers older than her that way.]
I do not know what's better or worse. I only - dislike seeing everyone so hopeless.
[at least people she cares about. and there is a part of her that always feels responsible, as though she should prevent anything bad from happening and it's her fault if she didn't.]
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outsidebones) wrote2023-02-05 05:03 pm
no subject
Which part?
[ the vote? the killing in the first place? the larger fact that they're stuck doing these trials? ]
no subject
[she feels as though she should have done something about it.]
no subject
...Well. It's what you said before, that it was set up to be cruel, because so many people care for him, and that he cares so much, but I think you're making a good point here, too, that people chose to honor his wishes.
[ finally, he shifts where he's sitting, pushing back to lean on his palms and looking up at the sky overhead, shitty as it is. there's something wistful in his delivery, something - finally, for the first time, especially sad, even if there's that same objective edge to it as before. ]
Even if it would have been better to overcome the entire thing, to keep him from being voted for, it wouldn't change the fact that it happened. That he remembered, and would have to live with it - even if we recognize the system as unfair, it doesn't change the fact that the action was still done. In the end, it's about him, too. For Lavi, would it have been better if we found a way to ensure he wasn't voted for or killed, or worse? Even if we think it would be better, to not have to lose him, would he have suffered even more living with the guilt?
I don't know the answer to those questions, but...if this place took his choices from him in the first place, with, of all things, an octopus, then I don't want to take his choice of how to deal with it away, either.
...He's a really, really good kid, Lavi. A really good kid.
no subject
I do not know what's better or worse. I only - dislike seeing everyone so hopeless.
[at least people she cares about. and there is a part of her that always feels responsible, as though she should prevent anything bad from happening and it's her fault if she didn't.]
He made an impression upon many people.