[ we are living in a world where the past eight hours didn't happen
this response makes him laugh - it's the ugh, really, and he nudges at a ball in the ballpit with his foot. ]
Honestly, me either. Cayley had a lot of weird places, but nothing quite like this - a carnival's the kind of thing I read about in a book. [ the emotional week honestly makes him feel very affectionate for his little galaxy, but that's besides the point. he is always affectionate. ] I don't think we've missed out on much.
there's a pause. he is, thankfully, immune to this withering look because he's received worse, though the bone paint does make it like slightly more effective. he taps his hand on the bar. ok. new tactic! ]
Well. Outside of everything that happened this weekend - I think it's stupid because earlier, I started acting really bizarre, and I looked back at my Bicker and felt pretty mortified. I swore at someone, and I don't think I've ever done that in my entire life. I think I narrowed down what might've caused it, but it was still really, really stupid. That, and Lin saw the whole thing. There's something more embarrassing about someone you know seeing you act weird that's frustrating.
That's not even the tip of my own stupid iceberg, but it's a start.
Pfft, no, not that. [ i mean he is a goody two shoes but that's besides the point ]
It's more like - I showed off a side of me that wasn't really me. Or, it was, but it wasn't. To someone who knows who I am. That's the part that was especially stupid.
Wouldn't that only mean he knows your behavior was unnatural? If someone truly knows who you are, it would seem that...self-consciousness would be unnecessary.
Maybe. But, it's hard not to feel self-conscious, anyway. When you're used to someone seeing you a certain way, and you don't want to plant any doubt in their mind at all that you're anything different than that. Even if it's illogical to think that someone else might be swayed by something so easily, sometimes, it's hard to stop it.
[ hearts and brains are sort of illogical that way, and he knows it well! ]
[ then again... being angry and bitchy wasn't really him being made a fool of. at least not too much. it's fine. ] Especially in a place where it's recorded in text for everyone to see.
[ i mean its been fine for him but then again, lu bixing isn't a molotov of emotions so whos to say ] Everyone's been a little more... [ a pause, picking wording. ] Well, emotional. Don't you think?
Believe it or not, I've felt like that lately, too.
[ mr charisma himself also struggles with this. especially right now. this will be especially funny when his daughter (murderous) goes batshit crazy on saturday at the end of trial. ]
...you're not the first person I've heard that from, this week. I think everyone feels that way - we're all just trying to navigate around each other when we don't even know each other, yet. The edges are always sharper than we mean, whether offensively or defensively. [ a pause. ]
That is to say, I'm glad to listen, if you want. No judgement - whatever the 'wrong thing' is, I've almost certainly heard worse.
[she fidgets with her hands, because this sort of conversation isn't the type she's supposed to have. he clearly wants to be some sort of comforting adult, and that is the type of person she has feared all of her life. because there is a large part of her who wants that, but once someone has decided they can treat you like a child, they can decide so much else for you, too.
she does consider getting up to leave, but she doesn't.]
You assume too much. It is simply that my old methods are less effective in this current environment.
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outsidebones) wrote2023-02-05 05:03 pm
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[she raises an eyebrow, but when he does not acknowledge earlier, she's a bit relieved.]
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this response makes him laugh - it's the ugh, really, and he nudges at a ball in the ballpit with his foot. ]
Honestly, me either. Cayley had a lot of weird places, but nothing quite like this - a carnival's the kind of thing I read about in a book. [ the emotional week honestly makes him feel very affectionate for his little galaxy, but that's besides the point. he is always affectionate. ] I don't think we've missed out on much.
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[a sigh. she looks a bit tired; the day has been long and the built up emotions get to her.]
I don't like this place at all. It is all so...stupid.
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he passes it across to harrow. ]
It is really stupid. [ that tiredness doesn't go unnoticed at all - he tilts his head to the side where he's sitting. ] What about it, in particular?
[ it's not that he doesn't get it, more like gently coaxing. let it out girl ]
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harrow in fact appreciates every attempt to be nice to her but she sure doesn't show it.
she sips the water.]
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there's a pause. he is, thankfully, immune to this withering look because he's received worse, though the bone paint does make it like slightly more effective. he taps his hand on the bar. ok. new tactic! ]
Well. Outside of everything that happened this weekend - I think it's stupid because earlier, I started acting really bizarre, and I looked back at my Bicker and felt pretty mortified. I swore at someone, and I don't think I've ever done that in my entire life. I think I narrowed down what might've caused it, but it was still really, really stupid. That, and Lin saw the whole thing. There's something more embarrassing about someone you know seeing you act weird that's frustrating.
That's not even the tip of my own stupid iceberg, but it's a start.
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You're upset because you swore? In front of him? Who cares.
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It's more like - I showed off a side of me that wasn't really me. Or, it was, but it wasn't. To someone who knows who I am. That's the part that was especially stupid.
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Wouldn't that only mean he knows your behavior was unnatural? If someone truly knows who you are, it would seem that...self-consciousness would be unnecessary.
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[ hearts and brains are sort of illogical that way, and he knows it well! ]
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[ then again... being angry and bitchy wasn't really him being made a fool of. at least not too much. it's fine. ] Especially in a place where it's recorded in text for everyone to see.
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[ i mean its been fine for him but then again, lu bixing isn't a molotov of emotions so whos to say ] Everyone's been a little more... [ a pause, picking wording. ] Well, emotional. Don't you think?
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...Yes. It is infuriating. I do loathe dealing with others in this state.
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...From what I've seen so far, it usually lessens once people let it out. If you talk about whatever it is, then the overly emotional bit goes away.
[ he laughs, a little. ] Maybe this is a concept of suffering. [ talking about your feelings. ]
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...I do poorly at such things. I do always say the wrong thing.
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[ mr charisma himself also struggles with this. especially right now. this will be especially funny when his daughter (murderous) goes batshit crazy on saturday at the end of trial. ]
...you're not the first person I've heard that from, this week. I think everyone feels that way - we're all just trying to navigate around each other when we don't even know each other, yet. The edges are always sharper than we mean, whether offensively or defensively. [ a pause. ]
That is to say, I'm glad to listen, if you want. No judgement - whatever the 'wrong thing' is, I've almost certainly heard worse.
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she does consider getting up to leave, but she doesn't.]
You assume too much. It is simply that my old methods are less effective in this current environment.
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What're your old methods?
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I am used to my reputation preceding me. It does away with much of the need for navigating social niceties.