mollymauk catchall

[outsidebones]

Comments

[headmt]

Yes, I'm a perfect angel sent by the Dawnfather himself. [ a huff. ] I felt badly about Diluc because-- I'm sort of the one who started that mess, with the picking a fight in trial.

And it doesn't matter in the end. It still got me to do it. So so much for gentleness. Sometimes shit happens, and you fuck up.

[outsidebones]

If you insist. Fine. We are not gentle people.

[headmt]

I insist.

[ He'd let Harrow win the fight before, and he's not backing down now, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. ]

If I'm not entirely gentle, you're not entirely hard either.

[outsidebones]

[she sighs.]

I'm just soft enough to regret it, but not enough to do things differently.

[headmt]

[ he half shrugs. ]

Don't know about that. Think that's just part of the deal of living. You make choices sometimes, and the next time you get a choice, you might make a different one. Things change.

[outsidebones]

I will never not protect you.

[headmt]

I know.

[ he does know that. trusts her when she says it. ]

... Just keep the part of you that's soft, alright? Because - and I say this with all the bloated ego that it implies - I think a solid chunk of that soft, squishy part I helped grow. So that's me too.

[outsidebones]

[oh. she pushes her face against him at that, not sure what to say, but oddly a little overcome.]

[headmt]

[ oddly? that was a 110 mph fastball of premium grade mollymauk-ism aimed right at a weak spot. this is the intended effect. this is the worst part about getting mollymauked at, sometimes he knows exactly what he's doing with this bullshit.

putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in, kissing her on top of the head briefly before just. ruffling her hair up. ]

[outsidebones]

[yeah, it got her pretty good. sad.]

[headmt]

[ sad! ]

No one perfect. No one makes the most morally correct decision all the time, or has their hands totally clean in a place like this, and it's bunk to pretend otherwise. Just have to keep trying, is all.

[outsidebones]

[she just needs a minute because he really did just very convincingly force her to try loving herself a little bit. that soft squishy part of her, the person in formation somewhere underneath, always felt a bit strange and awkward and she wasn't sure she liked it much. it's harder to think that way when she thinks about it being a part of molly.]

I feel sad. [...] I don't regret it, I only...I care about Dimitri, and about Shinobu, and I care about Rupert and even Bradley, and I simply...I wish I was more like the person they thought I was.

[headmt]

Seems like you have an answer then, yeah? Past is the past. It's gone and done with. Only thing to do going forward is try and be that person, even if it's just in little ways.

[ he'll shove his hands into his pockets, half-shrugging. ]

I know who you are.

[outsidebones]

Do you? I don't know who I am.

[headmt]

S'alright. A work in progress. [ he half shrugs. ] I am too.

[outsidebones]

[letting go just a little.]

Are you alright? What happened was terrible.

[headmt]

... I don't know. If I'm not now, then I will be?

[outsidebones]

Hmm. You make it sound so simple.

[headmt]

What's so complicated?

[outsidebones]

Just because you think you'll be alright doesn't change right now? I don't know. I don't think I can think that way.

[headmt]

Suppose that's just the only way it can be for me. It will either be alright, or it won't, but I'd like to think it will? So, that's what I've got to believe.

[outsidebones]

Will you get angry if I say something...?

[headmt]

Cueing it up well ...

[outsidebones]

How is it that the person who did this is you, but the person at the school isn't.

[headmt]

Because I remember it! I don't remember anything about what that guy at the school did, since those aren't mine.

[ memory week sort of pokes some holes in this Cool Theory though. Anyway he sounds incredibly defense about this in a way where someone knows they are standing on a house built on sand. ]