[ he's not surprised that voluntary voting led to executions anyway, but he looks disappointed. ]
...Yes. While our trials were meaningless circuses, it is still important to make a choice. That is our responsibility, as unsavory and frustrating as it may be.
[ if flayn were here and watched everyone avoid voting for her again, she would lose it. ]
That was how our trials functioned. People chose to kill to avoid a worse outcome. Others might protect them—many were already dear friends from the very outset. [ ... ] But motive does not change that someone will be picked to die. It is a difficult decision.
Avoiding the worst outcome while working towards the best one.
[ even so, there's a moment where his expression falters, and he shoves his gaze down to glare at the clay figures in their cases. ]
Though it feels garish to say so, when one of my classmates was left to rot in a garden, and the father she sought to save is lost to us. [ he scoffs. ] Earlier, through that bond we've had foisted on us—I felt relief. [ he doesn't blame futaba for it, and she won't be alone. it's natural to feel relief that someone you know wasn't the victim—that it wasn't you. anyone and everyone would feel the same. ] And in turn, even if only for a moment, I felt... resentment. That someone else could feel that way when some of us must mourn. That is the sort of monster that this place makes of us, Miss Harrowhark.
Do you truly feel it is monstrous to mourn your classmate more than you would mourn a stranger, or to wish it hadn't been you to suffer a loss?
[his reaction - and futaba's - both feel natural to her.]
I know a little of what does and does not qualify a person as a monster. Zealotry in protecting what is yours over the lives of innocents, perhaps. But grief and anger alone, I do not think so.
[ that gives him pause. he regrets feeling these things when futaba is young, given relief for having not lost someone she loved. it is ugly to resent someone so.
or maybe it's not that simple. ]
She is a child. [ they are all like the same age harrow and dimitri just talk like old people ] Even if I do not act on such emotion, it is unbecoming of my station. [ then, more softly: ] ...Still, I would not resent anyone for grieving. We are afforded so little time to do so.
I am the Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House, which means that I am daughter of its present ruler and will one day be the lady of Castle Drearburh. In practice, my mother and father are indisposed and I oversee the House.
[ the exact semantics are foreign to him, but understands the gist of it, nodding. ]
I take it someone else is managing your affairs in your absence.
[ she is about the age to be inheriting the title from her parents, if they're incapacitated, but he won't pry so deeply right now. ]
All the same, it must be familiar to you—for better or worse, people are influenced by the demeanor we reflect. [ he's not good at staying collected, but he's obliged to try and set an example. ]
...I presume so. The situation is a little complex. It would not be advisable for me to return, but circumstances are such that it ought to be alright if I never do.
[but she nods.]
I understand well how important it is to convey a proper image when all others look to you as an example.
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...Yes. While our trials were meaningless circuses, it is still important to make a choice. That is our responsibility, as unsavory and frustrating as it may be.
[ if flayn were here and watched everyone avoid voting for her again, she would lose it. ]
That was how our trials functioned. People chose to kill to avoid a worse outcome. Others might protect them—many were already dear friends from the very outset. [ ... ] But motive does not change that someone will be picked to die. It is a difficult decision.
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[but it still strikes her as a bit terrible.]
Avoiding a worse outcome is sometimes all we can do.
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Avoiding the worst outcome while working towards the best one.
[ even so, there's a moment where his expression falters, and he shoves his gaze down to glare at the clay figures in their cases. ]
Though it feels garish to say so, when one of my classmates was left to rot in a garden, and the father she sought to save is lost to us. [ he scoffs. ] Earlier, through that bond we've had foisted on us—I felt relief. [ he doesn't blame futaba for it, and she won't be alone. it's natural to feel relief that someone you know wasn't the victim—that it wasn't you. anyone and everyone would feel the same. ] And in turn, even if only for a moment, I felt... resentment. That someone else could feel that way when some of us must mourn. That is the sort of monster that this place makes of us, Miss Harrowhark.
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[his reaction - and futaba's - both feel natural to her.]
I know a little of what does and does not qualify a person as a monster. Zealotry in protecting what is yours over the lives of innocents, perhaps. But grief and anger alone, I do not think so.
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or maybe it's not that simple. ]
She is a child. [ they are all like the same age harrow and dimitri just talk like old people ] Even if I do not act on such emotion, it is unbecoming of my station. [ then, more softly: ] ...Still, I would not resent anyone for grieving. We are afforded so little time to do so.
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[they really are just both teens who think they're too serious to cry.]
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I have not worn the crown long, but yes. You carry a sort of title yourself, do you not?
[ it sounds more religious on her end, but maybe she gets it. ]
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But I have been away for a long time now.
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I take it someone else is managing your affairs in your absence.
[ she is about the age to be inheriting the title from her parents, if they're incapacitated, but he won't pry so deeply right now. ]
All the same, it must be familiar to you—for better or worse, people are influenced by the demeanor we reflect. [ he's not good at staying collected, but he's obliged to try and set an example. ]
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[but she nods.]
I understand well how important it is to convey a proper image when all others look to you as an example.
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Ah, I apologize if I dragged a painful subject to light. I know well the complications of a noble house.
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[sometimes you're unstable and insane and you just have to try your best anyway! as long as you try ❤️ ]