I don’t call people my friends lightly, Rin. If they are my friend, I find them trustworthy, reliable, and I like them. You don’t measure up to any of those standards.
[sorry, she was willing to just not talk to him anymore, but if he’s going to push it she’s going to be brutal.]
Your apology was unnecessary. I don’t care that you didn’t tell me about Diluc. I wouldn’t expect you to. But you throw childish temper tantrums at the end of trial nearly every week. You were cruel and mocking, trying to pick a fight and smugly saying ‘I told you so’ as a very dear friend to all of us was dying, and you seem to believe that everyone will forgive your constant time wasting, reckless, and damaging actions simply because you believe yourself to mean well.
There are people who will let you off the hook for this, because they have more patience for children and idiots than I do. But I don’t think those people are doing you a service shielding you endlessly from consequences.
Fortunately, there is no requirement we be friends or like one another.
[There's a part of Rin that wants to lash out at being lectured, to yell back some equally brutal thoughts he's been holding back in the name of friendship and cooperation. But that's the darkness in Rin's heart speaking, and he knows he has to stop listening to it.
Besides, she's not wrong. Intentions don't mean a thing if you can't get results. And while from his point of view he wasn't being cruel, it definitely could be seen in that way. He's never been one to make good decisions when he's hurting- he honestly saw Harrow as a friend, having that corrected knocked the wind right out of him- so he needs to stop himself.
Stop. Breathe. Think.
Then talk.]
You're right. I didn't do any of it right. And if I'd just said "it can't be Diluc, he already killed and the guy in charge said someone killing more is boring" then we could've kept going and found Kaeya's killer. We were so close to the answer, using that clue we had left on one of the two people it could've been would've gotten our answer.
But you're wrong too. Just because you don't understand me doesn't mean I'm useless or damaging. And I'm gonna keep doing things my way. That's what makes the whole group stronger: we all see things differently, so we can cover everyone's weaknesses and see what other people miss.
If you don't want me to call you a friend anymore, then fine. But I'm not gonna stop being friendly. I'm not gonna stop trying to help. The guy in charge here, he wants us to fight each other and group off and focus in saving our own and killing each other. So I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna keep reaching out and trying to help in whatever way I can, to anyone who will take my hand when i offer it to them. I might not get it right every time, but that's not gonna stop me from trying.
I'll apologize for losing my temper. I'll apologize for trying to punch Molly. I'll apologize for Sheila having to go through everything she did because of me. But I'll never apologize for being me.
[He will indeed hand it over. It contains handwritten copies of this diary here and thesethreenotes, as well as the following notes which seem to be more scattered and not copied down from other sources. There are scribbles here and there where Rin started to write something but crossed it out, and this is what is readable.]
8 keys - staff rooms - KDJ, HC, Cloud + Estelle,
Staff are 'actors' - playing a role, not being truthful. Be careful around them (not sure how much Nightman can see). Stricter rules than us. (possessed by shadows maybe?)
Nightman works w/contracts. Can use this against them? (stricter rules again)
5 rounds of games - important (Journal probably belongs to aquarius - Bradley)
They want us to fight and tear each other apart to survive - NO FIGHTING!!!
Dead might hear us if we talk in public. (tried, no results yet)
KDJ found postcards - letters from dead (previous game?) LEARN FLOWER MEANINGS code to send msgs (HC knows meanings)
Find others killers for more info about shadows.
Some of the trips get notes, some don't. Trips without notes hints in some way???
[After handing it all over he'll say one last bit:]
I know there's still more out there, I'm working on getting it. If you're okay with cooperating then I'll bring you what else I find later in the week. This stuff's all a copy of what I have, so you can keep it too.
Edited (I can't use the same icon twice in a row) 2022-07-12 23:50 (UTC)
[okay. she will read this and chew on her lip for a moment, quietly, and then she will nod.]
I'm okay with cooperating. The other keys I know of went to Sheila and Bradley, Yuri and Sebastian, and Lup and Jason.
What you have written about the staff both is and isn't true. I don't think it's a good idea to discuss in much detail, but...there's a lot they cannot discuss. Did you happen to see any memories from them? If so, you may understand what I mean.
I've seen the journal before, but not all of these notes. I have not seen the postcards - could you tell me what they looked like? I've seen an additional note other than the ones you have here - it is a game of hangman. I can provide it to you, but I will have to fetch my copy. I suspect the handwriting is too important in these notes to summarize. For instance, I suspect the notes you are showing me now may have been written by Aquila.
I've been told some of the assumptions made about the excursions that don't receive notes being "hints" may be in error.
[He nods along with this, already making mental notes to update his own later.]
There were four of them all together: one with a picture of a ghost, two with the same picture of a dog, and one that had a space-picture. All four of them had some crossing out on them, but they were all pretty much like the 'letters from the dead' kinda thing in other games, if you had those in yours. That's where the flowers were from- I guess it's how they sent secret messages so they wouldn't get crossed out?
And yeah, I've got thoughts about why but if you're saying it's best not to say it out loud I'll trust you. If we can talk about it later though I'll explain better. I didn't get to see their memories though, Aquila saw one of mine and teased me for it but I didn't see theirs.
[The joys of Maple spending the first four weeks of game battling pneumonia means that he didn't get as close to the NPCs as needed for memshares :( whoops]
I have one of the papers from my group's notes so you can look at the handwriting, it looked the same on all three so I think they're all written by the same person. Futaba and Shinobu have the other two pieces, but I can grab mine if you wanna see the handwriting. You grab yours, I grab mine, we meet back up?
We did have them, but only quite late, and they were glitched and strange and sinister.
[she drums her fingers.]
I think you can tell me your thoughts, if they are merely theories. I've been asked not to speak on certain matters, so I'm afraid I cannot confirm or deny.
Shinobu showed me hers, but yes. We can gather ours and compare.
[Leaving out some of the context he got from other people feels like it's only giving half of a story, but he'll try his best.]
I'm thinking all the shadows- the ones that possess people here to force them to kill, the ones we see after every execution, and the ones we see whenever the staff move somewhere- come from the same place. They don't do the exact same thing in all cases, but it's how everyone is being monitored. That's why we gotta be careful around the staff: not because they're causing trouble, but because someone is watching them at all times. Because of that, if we're gonna find a way to get everyone out, we're gonna have to do it out of eyesight of the staff.
I'm also wondering if we all get possessed by one sometimes and we don't even realize it. Like, you know how we get forced to places sometimes? Maybe the contracts we all signed are being enforced by these shadows or something.
They found personal stuff in the rooms, stuff that probably belongs to the staff. I'm not sure how much I should say on exactly what was found in each one, but I'm pretty sure that the one Kim Dokja found is Virgo's room.
Virgo had a jerky press in his room. Which, you know, kinda immediately gave it away. Apparently it was really dusty too. That's the room where the postcards were.
The other room- Orion's, I think- was a huge throne room. There was this big jade vase in the middle with...er, Hua Cheng said it was like vinegar, for pickling? Anyway, there were statues of mythological beasts, and some books too. And then there was a big shovel and a daruma that gave off "cursed energy" as it wiggled. Oh, and there was a bedroll behind the throne that was pretty simple and clashed with the room.
The room we think was Vulpecula's was pink. There was a laptop and some messages on that laptop, but there were also different styled shoes in the wardrobe, male and female clothing, makeup that was both modern and old-fashioned, asian style.
The room that may be Aquila's had tapestries with dragons on them, a closet full of cloaks, a bunch of black feathers, and a dead plant. There were some personal items in drawers, I think.
The room that may have belonged to Lepus was empty and sad and depressing.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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We have never been friends.
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I thought we were... But okay, what about becoming friends then?
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[sorry, she was willing to just not talk to him anymore, but if he’s going to push it she’s going to be brutal.]
Your apology was unnecessary. I don’t care that you didn’t tell me about Diluc. I wouldn’t expect you to. But you throw childish temper tantrums at the end of trial nearly every week. You were cruel and mocking, trying to pick a fight and smugly saying ‘I told you so’ as a very dear friend to all of us was dying, and you seem to believe that everyone will forgive your constant time wasting, reckless, and damaging actions simply because you believe yourself to mean well.
There are people who will let you off the hook for this, because they have more patience for children and idiots than I do. But I don’t think those people are doing you a service shielding you endlessly from consequences.
Fortunately, there is no requirement we be friends or like one another.
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Besides, she's not wrong. Intentions don't mean a thing if you can't get results. And while from his point of view he wasn't being cruel, it definitely could be seen in that way. He's never been one to make good decisions when he's hurting- he honestly saw Harrow as a friend, having that corrected knocked the wind right out of him- so he needs to stop himself.
Stop. Breathe. Think.
Then talk.]
You're right. I didn't do any of it right. And if I'd just said "it can't be Diluc, he already killed and the guy in charge said someone killing more is boring" then we could've kept going and found Kaeya's killer. We were so close to the answer, using that clue we had left on one of the two people it could've been would've gotten our answer.
But you're wrong too. Just because you don't understand me doesn't mean I'm useless or damaging. And I'm gonna keep doing things my way. That's what makes the whole group stronger: we all see things differently, so we can cover everyone's weaknesses and see what other people miss.
If you don't want me to call you a friend anymore, then fine. But I'm not gonna stop being friendly. I'm not gonna stop trying to help. The guy in charge here, he wants us to fight each other and group off and focus in saving our own and killing each other. So I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna keep reaching out and trying to help in whatever way I can, to anyone who will take my hand when i offer it to them. I might not get it right every time, but that's not gonna stop me from trying.
I'll apologize for losing my temper. I'll apologize for trying to punch Molly. I'll apologize for Sheila having to go through everything she did because of me. But I'll never apologize for being me.
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Okay. Just don't throw paper at me. I'm not interested.
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[He pulls out a stack of papers. It's like 7-ish papers currently.]
...yeah, I probably should hand this over instead of throwing it, it's gotta stay in order.
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If you are not throwing it, I will take it.
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8 keys - staff rooms - KDJ, HC, Cloud + Estelle,
Staff are 'actors' - playing a role, not being truthful. Be careful around them (not sure how much Nightman can see). Stricter rules than us. (possessed by shadows maybe?)
Nightman works w/contracts. Can use this against them? (stricter rules again)
5 rounds of games - important (Journal probably belongs to aquarius - Bradley)
They want us to fight and tear each other apart to survive - NO FIGHTING!!!
Dead might hear us if we talk in public. (tried, no results yet)
KDJ found postcards - letters from dead (previous game?) LEARN FLOWER MEANINGS code to send msgs (HC knows meanings)
Find others killers for more info about shadows.
Some of the trips get notes, some don't. Trips without notes hints in some way???
[After handing it all over he'll say one last bit:]
I know there's still more out there, I'm working on getting it. If you're okay with cooperating then I'll bring you what else I find later in the week. This stuff's all a copy of what I have, so you can keep it too.
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I'm okay with cooperating. The other keys I know of went to Sheila and Bradley, Yuri and Sebastian, and Lup and Jason.
What you have written about the staff both is and isn't true. I don't think it's a good idea to discuss in much detail, but...there's a lot they cannot discuss. Did you happen to see any memories from them? If so, you may understand what I mean.
I've seen the journal before, but not all of these notes. I have not seen the postcards - could you tell me what they looked like? I've seen an additional note other than the ones you have here - it is a game of hangman. I can provide it to you, but I will have to fetch my copy. I suspect the handwriting is too important in these notes to summarize. For instance, I suspect the notes you are showing me now may have been written by Aquila.
I've been told some of the assumptions made about the excursions that don't receive notes being "hints" may be in error.
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There were four of them all together: one with a picture of a ghost, two with the same picture of a dog, and one that had a space-picture. All four of them had some crossing out on them, but they were all pretty much like the 'letters from the dead' kinda thing in other games, if you had those in yours. That's where the flowers were from- I guess it's how they sent secret messages so they wouldn't get crossed out?
And yeah, I've got thoughts about why but if you're saying it's best not to say it out loud I'll trust you. If we can talk about it later though I'll explain better. I didn't get to see their memories though, Aquila saw one of mine and teased me for it but I didn't see theirs.
[The joys of Maple spending the first four weeks of game battling pneumonia means that he didn't get as close to the NPCs as needed for memshares :( whoops]
I have one of the papers from my group's notes so you can look at the handwriting, it looked the same on all three so I think they're all written by the same person. Futaba and Shinobu have the other two pieces, but I can grab mine if you wanna see the handwriting. You grab yours, I grab mine, we meet back up?
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[she drums her fingers.]
I think you can tell me your thoughts, if they are merely theories. I've been asked not to speak on certain matters, so I'm afraid I cannot confirm or deny.
Shinobu showed me hers, but yes. We can gather ours and compare.
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[Leaving out some of the context he got from other people feels like it's only giving half of a story, but he'll try his best.]
I'm thinking all the shadows- the ones that possess people here to force them to kill, the ones we see after every execution, and the ones we see whenever the staff move somewhere- come from the same place. They don't do the exact same thing in all cases, but it's how everyone is being monitored. That's why we gotta be careful around the staff: not because they're causing trouble, but because someone is watching them at all times. Because of that, if we're gonna find a way to get everyone out, we're gonna have to do it out of eyesight of the staff.
I'm also wondering if we all get possessed by one sometimes and we don't even realize it. Like, you know how we get forced to places sometimes? Maybe the contracts we all signed are being enforced by these shadows or something.
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They certainly are be monitored, though that's not quite what I was getting at.
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[Darn.]
I'll have to look through stuff and try again then, I think.
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[...]
I don't think it hurts to discuss the items located.
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Virgo had a jerky press in his room. Which, you know, kinda immediately gave it away. Apparently it was really dusty too. That's the room where the postcards were.
The other room- Orion's, I think- was a huge throne room. There was this big jade vase in the middle with...er, Hua Cheng said it was like vinegar, for pickling? Anyway, there were statues of mythological beasts, and some books too. And then there was a big shovel and a daruma that gave off "cursed energy" as it wiggled. Oh, and there was a bedroll behind the throne that was pretty simple and clashed with the room.
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The room that may be Aquila's had tapestries with dragons on them, a closet full of cloaks, a bunch of black feathers, and a dead plant. There were some personal items in drawers, I think.
The room that may have belonged to Lepus was empty and sad and depressing.
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[HE FEELS SAD FOR LEPUS NOW]
So that's five rooms...three more to track down.
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But yeah Rin will bring his one paper so Harrow can see the handwriting too.]