mollymauk catchall

[outsidebones]

Comments

[outsidebones]

Yes, I would like that.

[she will meet him at his room.]

[headmt]

[ he's standing outside of it, leaning against the wall. his coat still isn't back on, and he's not in his usual clothes. just something simple and comfortable, which is weird, because his pants aren't tight. he truly must be going through it. ]

Hey. Come on. Let's go out to that castle place.

[outsidebones]

[his pants aren't tight...he's really having a tough time. this ass is a murderer's ass :( ]

Yes, alright. [she will hold his hand, too.]

[headmt]

[ this ass is a murderer's ass ... it's juicy but terrible ass. bad vibes.

he'll let her take his hand - the bracelet is still on his wrist, little wooden beads on a string. ]

I love you, you know.

[outsidebones]

I love you, too.

[she mumbles it, looking away, like a dumb kid, but she does say it.]

[headmt]

[ squeezing her hand. ]

It's-- A lonely feeling. When everyone just forgives you.

[outsidebones]

[she nods softly.]

I know. But I don't forgive you, because you did nothing I would have been angry at to begin with. If you'd done it in cold blood, I wouldn't be angry.

[headmt]

[ a soft huff of almost a laugh. ]

It's-- It's not true. When everyone says that it just wasn't me, and therefore I did nothing wrong. I remember it perfectly. I know it was my own thoughts.

[outsidebones]

I don't want to tell you how to feel, but it literally wasn't.

[headmt]

[ he puffs out his cheeks, irritated. ]

It literally was! I know my own head. I'm only saying there's-- gray areas.

[outsidebones]

Fine, there's gray areas. Would you have done it without a shadow or no, Mollymauk?

[headmt]

Yeah, arsehole! I was going to fucking help you do it!

[outsidebones]

...Well, alright. There's that.

[she sighs heavily.]

I didn't want you to help me, because you are gentle and it makes you feel sad to see...Diluc be scolded by a child, and not speak up.

[headmt]

Yes, I'm a perfect angel sent by the Dawnfather himself. [ a huff. ] I felt badly about Diluc because-- I'm sort of the one who started that mess, with the picking a fight in trial.

And it doesn't matter in the end. It still got me to do it. So so much for gentleness. Sometimes shit happens, and you fuck up.

[outsidebones]

If you insist. Fine. We are not gentle people.

[headmt]

I insist.

[ He'd let Harrow win the fight before, and he's not backing down now, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. ]

If I'm not entirely gentle, you're not entirely hard either.

[outsidebones]

[she sighs.]

I'm just soft enough to regret it, but not enough to do things differently.

[headmt]

[ he half shrugs. ]

Don't know about that. Think that's just part of the deal of living. You make choices sometimes, and the next time you get a choice, you might make a different one. Things change.

[outsidebones]

I will never not protect you.

[headmt]

I know.

[ he does know that. trusts her when she says it. ]

... Just keep the part of you that's soft, alright? Because - and I say this with all the bloated ego that it implies - I think a solid chunk of that soft, squishy part I helped grow. So that's me too.

[outsidebones]

[oh. she pushes her face against him at that, not sure what to say, but oddly a little overcome.]

[headmt]

[ oddly? that was a 110 mph fastball of premium grade mollymauk-ism aimed right at a weak spot. this is the intended effect. this is the worst part about getting mollymauked at, sometimes he knows exactly what he's doing with this bullshit.

putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in, kissing her on top of the head briefly before just. ruffling her hair up. ]

[outsidebones]

[yeah, it got her pretty good. sad.]

[headmt]

[ sad! ]

No one perfect. No one makes the most morally correct decision all the time, or has their hands totally clean in a place like this, and it's bunk to pretend otherwise. Just have to keep trying, is all.

[outsidebones]

[she just needs a minute because he really did just very convincingly force her to try loving herself a little bit. that soft squishy part of her, the person in formation somewhere underneath, always felt a bit strange and awkward and she wasn't sure she liked it much. it's harder to think that way when she thinks about it being a part of molly.]

I feel sad. [...] I don't regret it, I only...I care about Dimitri, and about Shinobu, and I care about Rupert and even Bradley, and I simply...I wish I was more like the person they thought I was.