...As I said. She was capable of much. Even an otherwise good person can be pushed to the extremes.
[ flayn was his friend, but he won't explain away her past. they're surrounded by it in this room, clay figures stacked around them still, even with the dead returned. ]
But I will be frank in saying that it would not surprise me, if she would rather be a victim than a perpetrator this time.
[ if not for her profile, he thinks it'd probably be more of a shock to people. but maybe harrow doesn't preclude sweet girls from murder as easily as most do. ]
...Yes, most likely. No two instances of these 'games' is the same as another.
[ he'd heard as much in camp, too. ]
I have no doubt that things are different here, too.
Mm. At this stage, failing to vote is likely too risky. And though others may disagree, I find it important to make an example. Someone deciding whether to kill ought to make that choice knowing there is little hope they won't be caught.
...I would prepare myself for the possibility that voting is mandatory. And voting for oneself led to punishments, in our case. [ a beat. his voice is tight with frustration. ] But I agree. No one should believe that murder is excusable simply because we have all suffered through so much of this before.
Ah. We were never required to vote. However, we only managed not to vote once, and it required a great deal of coordination. The understanding was that if any one individual chose to vote - anonymously - their choice would therefore be the majority. And there were always a group of ruthless individuals who felt our numbers were too great.
Mandatory voting...will only be a change in that those who attempted to spare their conscience by leaving the hard decisions to others will lose that luxury.
My understanding is that the fashion in some of these experiences became...to believe murder was required and therefore justified, and to protect those responsible from being found.
[ he's not surprised that voluntary voting led to executions anyway, but he looks disappointed. ]
...Yes. While our trials were meaningless circuses, it is still important to make a choice. That is our responsibility, as unsavory and frustrating as it may be.
[ if flayn were here and watched everyone avoid voting for her again, she would lose it. ]
That was how our trials functioned. People chose to kill to avoid a worse outcome. Others might protect them—many were already dear friends from the very outset. [ ... ] But motive does not change that someone will be picked to die. It is a difficult decision.
Avoiding the worst outcome while working towards the best one.
[ even so, there's a moment where his expression falters, and he shoves his gaze down to glare at the clay figures in their cases. ]
Though it feels garish to say so, when one of my classmates was left to rot in a garden, and the father she sought to save is lost to us. [ he scoffs. ] Earlier, through that bond we've had foisted on us—I felt relief. [ he doesn't blame futaba for it, and she won't be alone. it's natural to feel relief that someone you know wasn't the victim—that it wasn't you. anyone and everyone would feel the same. ] And in turn, even if only for a moment, I felt... resentment. That someone else could feel that way when some of us must mourn. That is the sort of monster that this place makes of us, Miss Harrowhark.
Do you truly feel it is monstrous to mourn your classmate more than you would mourn a stranger, or to wish it hadn't been you to suffer a loss?
[his reaction - and futaba's - both feel natural to her.]
I know a little of what does and does not qualify a person as a monster. Zealotry in protecting what is yours over the lives of innocents, perhaps. But grief and anger alone, I do not think so.
[ that gives him pause. he regrets feeling these things when futaba is young, given relief for having not lost someone she loved. it is ugly to resent someone so.
or maybe it's not that simple. ]
She is a child. [ they are all like the same age harrow and dimitri just talk like old people ] Even if I do not act on such emotion, it is unbecoming of my station. [ then, more softly: ] ...Still, I would not resent anyone for grieving. We are afforded so little time to do so.
I am the Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House, which means that I am daughter of its present ruler and will one day be the lady of Castle Drearburh. In practice, my mother and father are indisposed and I oversee the House.
[ the exact semantics are foreign to him, but understands the gist of it, nodding. ]
I take it someone else is managing your affairs in your absence.
[ she is about the age to be inheriting the title from her parents, if they're incapacitated, but he won't pry so deeply right now. ]
All the same, it must be familiar to you—for better or worse, people are influenced by the demeanor we reflect. [ he's not good at staying collected, but he's obliged to try and set an example. ]
...I presume so. The situation is a little complex. It would not be advisable for me to return, but circumstances are such that it ought to be alright if I never do.
[but she nods.]
I understand well how important it is to convey a proper image when all others look to you as an example.
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...I'm sorry. I did not think someone like her would be the first.
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I cannot say I'm surprised.
[ though there's a bitter edge to his words. ]
Perhaps someone thought her an easy target, even if she is much more skilled in combat than she might appear.
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[ it doesn't sound complimentary, exactly. ]
But she did prefer peace, when it was an option.
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[she's not nice enough not to press that.]
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[ flayn was his friend, but he won't explain away her past. they're surrounded by it in this room, clay figures stacked around them still, even with the dead returned. ]
But I will be frank in saying that it would not surprise me, if she would rather be a victim than a perpetrator this time.
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[so flayn was a killer, then. it's a bit of a surprise, but not much of one.]
The circumstances you were in were likely quite different than ours.
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...Yes, most likely. No two instances of these 'games' is the same as another.
[ he'd heard as much in camp, too. ]
I have no doubt that things are different here, too.
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And we will have to find them tomorrow, most likely, lest we otherwise risk killing another innocent person.
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...I would prepare myself for the possibility that voting is mandatory. And voting for oneself led to punishments, in our case. [ a beat. his voice is tight with frustration. ] But I agree. No one should believe that murder is excusable simply because we have all suffered through so much of this before.
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Mandatory voting...will only be a change in that those who attempted to spare their conscience by leaving the hard decisions to others will lose that luxury.
My understanding is that the fashion in some of these experiences became...to believe murder was required and therefore justified, and to protect those responsible from being found.
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...Yes. While our trials were meaningless circuses, it is still important to make a choice. That is our responsibility, as unsavory and frustrating as it may be.
[ if flayn were here and watched everyone avoid voting for her again, she would lose it. ]
That was how our trials functioned. People chose to kill to avoid a worse outcome. Others might protect them—many were already dear friends from the very outset. [ ... ] But motive does not change that someone will be picked to die. It is a difficult decision.
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[but it still strikes her as a bit terrible.]
Avoiding a worse outcome is sometimes all we can do.
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Avoiding the worst outcome while working towards the best one.
[ even so, there's a moment where his expression falters, and he shoves his gaze down to glare at the clay figures in their cases. ]
Though it feels garish to say so, when one of my classmates was left to rot in a garden, and the father she sought to save is lost to us. [ he scoffs. ] Earlier, through that bond we've had foisted on us—I felt relief. [ he doesn't blame futaba for it, and she won't be alone. it's natural to feel relief that someone you know wasn't the victim—that it wasn't you. anyone and everyone would feel the same. ] And in turn, even if only for a moment, I felt... resentment. That someone else could feel that way when some of us must mourn. That is the sort of monster that this place makes of us, Miss Harrowhark.
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[his reaction - and futaba's - both feel natural to her.]
I know a little of what does and does not qualify a person as a monster. Zealotry in protecting what is yours over the lives of innocents, perhaps. But grief and anger alone, I do not think so.
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or maybe it's not that simple. ]
She is a child. [ they are all like the same age harrow and dimitri just talk like old people ] Even if I do not act on such emotion, it is unbecoming of my station. [ then, more softly: ] ...Still, I would not resent anyone for grieving. We are afforded so little time to do so.
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[they really are just both teens who think they're too serious to cry.]
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I have not worn the crown long, but yes. You carry a sort of title yourself, do you not?
[ it sounds more religious on her end, but maybe she gets it. ]
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But I have been away for a long time now.
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I take it someone else is managing your affairs in your absence.
[ she is about the age to be inheriting the title from her parents, if they're incapacitated, but he won't pry so deeply right now. ]
All the same, it must be familiar to you—for better or worse, people are influenced by the demeanor we reflect. [ he's not good at staying collected, but he's obliged to try and set an example. ]
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[but she nods.]
I understand well how important it is to convey a proper image when all others look to you as an example.
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Ah, I apologize if I dragged a painful subject to light. I know well the complications of a noble house.
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[sometimes you're unstable and insane and you just have to try your best anyway! as long as you try ❤️ ]