rupert

[outsidebones]

Comments

week 7; saturday

[outsidebones]

[at some point after things are settled down, harrow can be found sitting on her own for a bit out by the pool. she looks up when she sees rupert.]

...Rupert. It's good to see you again. I didn't get the chance to say.

[agleam]

[he gives her a little wave as he sees her, coming to take a seat nearby. he weighs his words for a moment, before...]

Wanted to get away from the crowd for a bit?

[outsidebones]

Yes. Collect my thoughts for a little while. It's nice to see everyone happy, but it's odd, too.

[...]

I was so happy at the station, when it was over. I'd never been so happy in my life. It's harder this time.

[agleam]

[he tilts his head.]

Harder in what way?

[outsidebones]

I was pleased with my actions at the station. I didn't leave with regrets. It isn't the same here.

[agleam]

[after another moment of pause:]

In your letter, you said if you explained your reasoning I might understand it, so... If you can, I'd like to hear what that reasoning was.

[outsidebones]

I'm not sure I was right about that.

[she sighs heavily.]

I don't think you'd make the same choices, at the least. But I did it for my hostage, because the death of my hostage would also be the death of the Ninth House. That being the case, I felt I had an obligation to not only protect them, but to do so proactively.

[agleam]

[he's quiet for a moment, taking that in.]

So... You were scared that someone would hurt you and you'd lose them because you hadn't acted sooner?

[outsidebones]

Yes. If I died, they would die, too.

I procrastinated for three weeks. But it started to become more dangerous, and avoiding acting on their behalf just because I personally find it distasteful was unacceptable to me.

[agleam]

[he pauses for a moment, taking that in, before he takes a breath.]

...I understand it. I don't agree with it, necessarily, but - I don't think it was selfish of you, if your motivation was trying to protect other people.

[...]

But - if that was your reasoning, why did you wait so long to say something?

[outsidebones]

I don't necessarily think a confession would have been received sympathetically, given I wasn't possessed. I didn't want to be killed.

[agleam]

...I'm not angry at you. And I care about you, you know. Like I said, I understand why you did it. It's just, I don't know if I can trust you, and that's hard.

[...]

But I'm glad you were safe.

[outsidebones]

[it's a little painful to hear, but not unexpected. she nods.]

I know. I don't expect you to trust me. [...] When we spoke, after he died, when I talked to you about it...at that time, I didn't remember what I'd done. If I had remembered, I would hardly have come clean, but I would have found a reason not to have that conversation with you. I suppose that means very little, but to me, I - would find it hard to accept someone comforting me knowing they were the source of my distress. And it troubled me after, when I realized it.

It might not be bad to be angry, Rupert. I don't ask you not to be.

[agleam]

...It does help, a little. I mean - it still hurts that you didn't tell me afterwards, but it would've been worse if you remembered and you made a choice to say all that anyways.

[he shakes his head.]

I don't really want to waste tonight being mad at you.

[outsidebones]

I've learned a lesson about arguing with people that they ought to be mad at me.

[it didn't go so well when it was shinobu.]

So, I won't.

[but she doesn't think rupert really wants to let this go, so she will do the polite thing and gently avoid.]

[agleam]

Yeah, it's usually a better idea to let people feel however they want.

[nodding.]

Besides, there are more important things to do tonight. Like ask you how you've been since we last saw each other! It's been a bit.